Lucy's Eggcellent Adventure
by Abicion
Summary: My Christmas present to the internet.


"_Your mind will shatter like glass."_

- Scarecrow

* * *

><p>The first rounds of Grand Magic Games were only the appetizer, and now the main course was about to begin. Lucy was already on the field. Her opponent still hadn't arrived.<p>

"_Ladies and gentlemen, I have just received word none of the representatives from our second team of finalists will be able compete."_

Today's announcer sounded nothing like Chapati.

"_Fortunately we were able to bring in a last minute substitute for the final competition. Normally, changing the bracket on such short notice would be against the rules, but this is a unique case considering the background of the substitute team."_

Lucy was outraged. So much for a fair fight.

"_And now, without further delay, the only team that deserves to advance straight to the final round against the Fairy Tail Guild... the Fairy Tail Guild!"_

What happened next was the last thing Lucy would have ever expected. On the opposite side of the field, her Edolas doppelganger emerged and waved at her. Earth Lucy stared back in bewilderment, but she didn't have time to ask any questions. Edolas Lucy started the attack almost as soon as her presence was known.

She caught her mirror image off guard and tackled her to the ground. Twisting her arms around her Earth twin's head and her legs around her waist, she wrenched with all of her might. Knowing your body's physical limits really helped when you wanted to wear yourself down.

"_Oh! It looks like Lucy Ashley from the Edolas Team is going for a quick submission right out of the gate! We don't see this often at the Magic Games!"_

Lucy Heartfilia barely managed to reach one of her Keys. Taurus appeared and swung his labrys at the ground. Lucy Ashley shifted her weight to dodge an attack aimed straight at her head, rolling both of her selves over the grass in the process. Taurus swung several more times and missed each time. Lucy Ashley relentlessly kept her hold in place, using each roll as leverage to apply more and more pressure. Earth Lucy would have motioned for her Celestial Spirit to back off if her arms hadn't gone numb.

Lucy Ashley became impatient about something. Narrowly avoiding another axe strike, she shouted straight into the sky at the top of her lungs.

"Can't you morons see the _rabbit_ is in the _carrot cake_? Bring in the _baker _already, dammit!"

A dark magic circle appeared in the grass and covered nearly a quarter of the field. An enormous green dragon rose out of the arcane formation. Edolas Lucy looked on in delight. Earth Lucy watched in horror.

Lucy Ashley let go of her hold only so she could use both feet to punt her Earth twin halfway across stadium. Lucy Heartfilia hit the ground in a rough landing and skid across the turf, stopping right at the feet of the wyrm.

"_Ladies and gentlemen, now for the real main attraction you all came to see!" _A second announcer buzzed over the arena loudspeakers. _"Wait, what's that? You mean most of them actually thought it would end with that rigged fight? Too bad, you're all going to see this anyway! Bwahahaha!" _

The giant serpent grasped Lucy's dazed form with two talons and lifted her up by the ankles. For a second, she thought she saw two dragons staring at her, but her vision cleared as she shook her head.

"_Please give a round of applause to our hand-picked winner of X791's Grand Magic Games, the lovely Lucy Heartfilia! We're so glad the Fairy Tail Guild was able to donate her for this year's Revival Ritual!" _Despite the announcer's enthusiasm, the audience remained mostly silent.

The dragon dangled Lucy upside-down in front of his snout. His nostrils slowly flared.

"Mmm. Nice and ripe." He bellowed in a dark, brooding voice.

Lucy squirmed helplessly. All she could do was try to keep gravity from rolling her skirt up.

"What the hell are you doing? I didn't sign up for anything like this!"

The rest of the Fairy Tail Guild rushed on to the field, but they were too late. Natsu and his teammates watched as the dragon raised his prey above his head and dropped her into his mouth.

She wasn't going down easily. Scrambling up his tongue, she tied her whip around one of his incisors and held on for dear life. Taurus jumped on the dragon's nose and tried to rescue his summoner from the precipice of oblivion. The dragon used his claws to swipe Taurus away, sending the bull flying out of the arena and presumably back to his constellation. He then casually picked at his tooth, causing Lucy's whip to fray and tear in half. She slipped into a free fall, and her frightened screams echoed all the way down into his gullet.

"They were right." The dragon purred after he swallowed. "This girl is tastiest thing I've had in a long time. I would have devoured her Edolas counterpart as soon as I had the chance, but that one looks like she's already turned rotten."

"I'm standing right beside you, jackass." Ashley grumbled through her teeth.

Natsu was overwhelmed by terror and disgust. It had been seven years since he last saw any of the Fairy Tail members from Edolas, and they had never done something this vile and wretched before.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked Lucy Ashley. "Why are you doing this? The two of you are supposed to be friends!"

"Friends? Pfft," Ashley shrugged carelessly. "I thought we could get along the last time we met, but then I decided we never really settled the score. I figured the best way to get even was to teach her what it feels like when most of the people in her world hate her for what she is."

The dragon suddenly groaned. The indentations of Earth Lucy's fists appeared on the surface his stomach. Then impressions from the soles of her boots emerged. The scales on his midsection soon lit up like flashing carnival lights.

"She's not really agreeing with me," he complained in mild discomfort. "I think she's trying to use those Key things to fight her way out."

Edolas Lucy shook her head. Raising her wrist to her mouth, she spoke into a tiny microphone in her glove.

"You guys heard that? _Baby Bunny_ is trying to leave the _rabbit hole_. Help her settle down."

Another magic circle appeared beside the dragon. The circle took the form of a giant chalice filled with a thick pink syrup. The dragon hastily grabbed the cup, drank all of its contents in three gulps, and discarded it back into the void. The marks on his stomach slowly faded.

"That hit the spot." He burped loudly.

Natsu watched everything in bafflement, then turned toward Lucy Ashley. "What did you do this time?"

"I just gave him a magic potion that cures cramps and stomach aches in dragons." A tiny glint of evil flashed in her eyes. "Oh, and it accelerates the evolution of Dragon Maidens."

"Dragon... what?"

One of the announcers coincidentally answered Natsu's question in his next message to the audience.

"_Most of you have heard of the mighty dragons, but only the most wizened scholars know of the mythical Dragon Maidens. Part beauty, part beast, they were the missing link between mankind and dragonkind. The rarest of the noble drakes, the only way a Dragon Maiden could be conceived was by selecting special female oracles and testing their ability to survive inside the belly of a Godfather dragon. It's believed only the most gifted and virtuous few can make it through the trials without her mind or body turning to mush. And now, right here, we may actually see the birth a new Dragon Maiden! There hasn't been a living Dragon Maiden in 10,000 years!"_

"The wackos who run this joint are part of some underground dragon worshipping cult," Ashley explained. "They've been looking for the right sacrificial Mage to 'bring new life to the dragon gods,' or something fancy like that. All I had to do was tip them off on where to find one."

Edolas Lucy tugged at the zipper on her chest, revealing the small wad of cash hidden in her cleavage. Then she pointed toward the relaxed wyvern.

"King Munchies here can spawn Dragon Maidens if you feed him right. Female Spirit Mages are his favorite. Sweet little morsels with a spicy magical kick. But even if he scarfs down some lucky girl he's taken a liking to, there's still plenty of things that can go wrong. Maybe she's too hard, maybe she's too soft, or maybe her magic isn't strong enough to withstand nasty dragon enzymes. If she can pass all the trials, she'll come out smelling like roses and feeling like a goddess. If she can't, well… then she'll just amount to shit."

She crossed her arms as a sinister grin grew on her face.

"Poor little Lucy is in for a rough ride. I wouldn't worry too much about her, though. She's a tough cookie. There's a slight chance she'll survive."

The dragon started to shift his enormous body around as if he were trying to get more comfortable. He moved away where he had been situated, revealing a shimmering egg covered with a thick ruby membrane. A shallow indentation in the grass kept it standing upright.

"_Wait, is that…?" _one of the announcers stammered._ "This is it! This is the sign! Cthulhu fhtagn! Klaatu barada nikto! May she guide us into the grey! Perhaps the same could be said of all religions! I put on my robe and wizard hat! We've just witnessed the first successful Human-Draconian Quickening in modern history!"_

The stadium filled with "oohs" and "aahs." A lot of the noise may have been piped through the speakers, as most of the people in the audience looked like they still had no idea what they were watching.

"You can lay eggs?" Natsu asked in surprise. "I thought you were a guy."

The dragon's response was brief.

"It's complicated."

"Enough already!" Natsu finally lost his temper. The rest of his team lined up to attack. "So all we have to do is break this stupid egg? We're going to get you out of there, Lucy!"

Edolas Lucy cracked her knuckles in retaliation.

"I don't think so. It wouldn't be any fun if she got off that easily."

As much as she wanted to see the egg come to term, she stood no chance against the Fairy Tail Guild on her own. She fared about as well as you would expect for a powerless ex-Mage going up against an entire team of elite magic users. They left her flat on her back and staring up at imaginary stars.

The fighting caught the attention of the dragon. His jovial demeanor faded as he gazed down on the Guild.

"So you want to fight, do you? I won't be merciful toward anyone who wants to hurt one of my daughters."

Surprisingly, he didn't fare much better. He toppled over after a barrage of magical attacks, leaving the nest unguarded.

"Pass the gravy, Vermithrax…" he growled in a half-awake stupor.

The entire arena became ominously humid. The air spiraled into a heated whirlwind as a long, twisted shape started to form on the ground. After a few seconds, another dragon was crouched on the field. It was a bit smaller than the first dragon, but it was still a behemoth by any human measurement and it managed to look even more menacing. Its red scales were covered in vibrant Zodiac runes, and giant metal threads kept its golden mane tied back in two braids. It hissed at Natsu and his team as it coiled protectively around the egg.

"How many of these things are there?" Natsu cautiously backed away.

"You mean her?" Lucy Ashley nodded toward the red creature as she regained her senses. "That's probably just Future Lucy."

"THAT'S Future Lucy?" Natsu gasped. "But it's a dragon!"

"Exactly." The corner of Ashley's mouth twisted into a smirk.

Incubated by the red dragon, the egg slowly began to crack open. A thin cloud of steam rose out of the vent.

"Mmn... uhhn..." Lucy moaned weakly from deep inside of her shell.

A single slender hand reached out of the crack. It looked just like one of Lucy's hands, but the nails were sharpened and painted like lizard claws.

"Welp, looks like it's about time to head back to my own universe," Edolas Lucy said with a grin. "This one's gonna be in cinders pretty soon. Nice knowing you, Earth Fairy Tail."

She sarcastically waved goodbye before disappearing into the ether.

"I have to scram, too," the first dragon rumbled. "My followers are bringing this cute ice sorceress over for dinner a few epochs from now. They're usually the first ones to get digested, but at least they're easy on the bowels."

Another magic circle appeared underneath his talons. He licked his jowls as he sank into a dark rift.

The smaller red dragon was the only one left watching over the egg. She bid the Fairy Tail team farewell with a short snarl, then disappeared into the timestream.

"_Children and individuals with a strong moral standing are advised to look away from the field at this time_. _For most Dragon Maidens, there has historically been a very brief delay between the moment her egg hatches and when her royal coat fully materializes. During that time, she may appear with some degree of indecency by conventional standards. Although we stress the educational merits of this presentation, some of us do feel the need to remind you what you are about to see is, in essence, a human woman. For everyone else in attendance, we invite you to witness the mystical Dragon Maiden in her purest form."_

The audience erupted in cheers. It was the first time it sounded like they were genuinely excited about the ceremony.

The egg crumbled away like flower petals. Lucy stretched her arms in all of her glory as curtains of amber yolk dripped from her body.

"Ahh…"

Her eyes had turned reptilian. Small leathery fins grew from where her ears used to be. At first glance, it looked like her whip had somehow been repaired. Once it started to sway around, however, it was apparent Lucy had grown a dragon tail with a heart-shaped tip. She gazed in the direction of Natsu's team and flicked her forked tongue.

The magic yolk quickly dried and solidified. Lucy's new attire resembled her familiar X791 outfit with extensive dragon-themed revisions. She wore a short red and gold dress that clung to her like a silky skin and left most of her midriff uncovered. It was like a swimsuit under a separate miniskirt. Her vest had the texture of red and gold lizard scales. Red leather boots and black stockings covered her legs. Her sleeves appeared more elegant and hung from her elbows like long red ribbons. Her hair was tied in pigtails with ruby laces.

"_An interesting thing about the Dragon Maiden species is each member typically doesn't grow her wings until her sixteen hundredth birthday. After that, legends say they are able transform between a full-bodied dragon form and their compact human form at will."_

Her eyes glanced over each member of Fairy Tail, quickly scanning for any jewelry or other precious metals she could covet. When she realized no one had brought her presents, she calmly approached Natsu. Taking him by the chin, she looked seductively into his eyes.

"What will you do now, Dragon Slayer?" Lucy curiously tilted her head. "Are you going to hunt me down and skin me like your ancestors did to the rest of my kind?"

"What are you talking about, Lucy? You're human just like me!"

She stopped to consider Natsu's response, but then gave him the cold truth.

"You're half right."

Her soft, beguiling aura was gone in an instant. Her eyes glowed like angry torches as she opened her mouth wide. She exhaled in a breath of fire, consuming Natsu's entire head in flames.

Natsu reacted by blinking. When Lucy closed her mouth again, she saw he was completely unfazed by her magic. Nothing on his face was burnt. His hair wasn't even the slightest bit singed.

"You're still alive?" She asked with an unsure look.

"Well… yeah?" Natsu had the same expression. "I'm immune to fire. Did you forget about that?"

Lucy _tsked _and grit her teeth. Her tail suddenly reached over her hip and wrapped around Natsu's waist. She regained her cheerful composure as she hoisted him over her head. Using nothing but her tail, she slammed him side to side into ground like a human pancake.

"_That's gotta hurt, Karl!"_

"_You're right, Gustav. He's going to be sore from that kind of rejection!"_

When she was done, she unraveled her tail and let Natsu collapse in a heap. He groaned to himself as he sprawled across the grass, paralyzed by severe motion sickness.

"You mortals are so boring." Lucy gave the rest of the team a beckoning glare.

Gray was the first one on offense. Lucy easily melted through his most powerful ice spells, then split the ground open in narrow rivers of lava to limit his movements. She ran behind his back and trapped him in a headlock.

Lucy tried to neutralize Mirajane's magic by stirring her index finger in the air and surrounding Mirajane in a fiery tornado. Mirajane escaped and threw a bolt of lightning at Lucy. Lucy countered by throwing Gray at Mirajane. Lucy won that round.

Erza was up next. After dodging some of her swordplay, Lucy stopped Erza's blade by catching it in her bare hand. The skin on Lucy's palm turned into a thick leathery hide, protecting her from any serious injury. Lucy grinned, and Erza was blasted across the field in a spontaneous volcanic explosion.

Elfman threw a punch with one of his enormous arms, and Lucy answered with her own fist. She was able to block his entire attack despite the smaller and more slender shape of her arms. The two fighters continued to press their fists together, coming to a stalemate where neither side could overpower the other. The two of them held their ground even when Lucy's arm burst into flames and scorched Elfman's knuckles. Lucy finally gained the upper hand by blindsiding him with a high kick.

When the battle was over, Lucy stood victorious over the Guild. She only had a few seconds to celebrate before a chained collar appeared around her neck.

"Are you ready to hold up your end of the bargain?" Virgo materialized behind her. She was holding the leash.

A second chain attached itself to the collar, and Aquarius appeared in front of Lucy. Another set of shackles locked around her wrists as the Gemini twins appeared at her sides. Gemi took the appearance of what had been Lucy's ordinary mortal form up until a few minutes ago, while Mini resembled her Edolas persona. Aries appeared last, shyly peeking over Aquarius's shoulder.

"I just hatched, sheesh." Lucy's fins twitched nervously. "Give me some time here."

"You may think you're all-powerful on your own." Virgo pet the top of Lucy's head. "But we're the only things that came between you and an ocean of dragon puke."

Aquarius brushed Lucy on the cheek. She leaned forward until their lips almost touched.

"You know the deal," the mermaid said. "We need a new source of spirit energy from this world now that the Keys have been destroyed." She moved her hand from Lucy's face, tracing down the front of her chained neck and following the contours of her voluptuous bust. "We managed to keep things balanced when we could only be summoned for short periods, but now there's nothing to sustain us. We made that sacrifice so you could become the most fruitful source of energy in the universe."

"Don't be selfish, Lucy," Virgo whispered. "That dragon thought your energy was delicious. It wouldn't be fair if he was the only one who was allowed to have a taste." She brushed her hands across Lucy's shoulders. Her fingers continued to travel delicately down Lucy's back and over her rear.

Gemini squeezed against Lucy on either side like they were her jealous twin sisters. "We want our freedom!"

"Okay, okay. I won't forget about you guys," Lucy insisted. "Can you at least wait until I'm hibernating? Then all ten of you can mooch off of me as much you like and I promise I won't make a peep."

"Hmm… How long much longer will that be?" Aries asked with a hopeful smile.

"Just until I take care of some loose ends and have a little fun," Lucy replied. "I need my beauty sleep just as much as you need your personal spirit battery. You saw that new future version of me, didn't you? There's no way you guys would let me grow that strong if I kept ignoring you."

Aquarius slowly backed away. "We'll be waiting."

One by one, the shackles disappeared. The spirits returned to their own dimension.

Lucy placed her hands on her hips and turned her attention toward the Fairy Tail team. After looking over the bruised and battered carnage, she nodded contently at her handiwork. They were pathetic now, but maybe they would be a little more challenging if she let them train for a while. In the meantime, she had some cultists to talk to. She made her exit by disappearing in a pillar of flame.

"_Looks like that's it for today's preview," _one of the commentators said._ "That was quite the plot twist!" _

"_Tune in next week, when we'll kick off the Dance of the Dragon Maiden Arc!"_


End file.
